


Retired

by PerditaAlottachocolate



Series: ML Reveal Week [4]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), F/M, Fluff, Humor, Identity Reveal, LadyNoir - Freeform, ML Reveal Week, Rooftops, comedic, holes - Freeform, like really really aged up, seriously, yoyo malfunctions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-17
Updated: 2017-08-17
Packaged: 2018-12-16 14:50:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11830998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PerditaAlottachocolate/pseuds/PerditaAlottachocolate
Summary: What happens when a retired Ladybug gets bored and suffers from yoyo malfunction? That’s aholedifferent story…ML reveal weekDay 4: Comedic





	Retired

**Author's Note:**

> So I might have gone a little overboard with this one. But who said they were all supposed to be drabbles, right? *shrugs*  
> The last two prompts were rather short, as is the one for tomorrow, so consider us even.  
> Special thanks to Remasa, who pointed me in much better direction with this idea.

#  Day 4: Comedic “Retired”

 

It was a relatively peaceful afternoon at the _[Classified]_ House for Retired Heroes in _[Classified]_.

Queen Bee, a golden glitter surrounding her royal figure, was lazily watering her flowers and humming with her worker bees, instructing them on such important matters like which flowers were next in line to get pollinated and how much honey they should prepare this year.

At the pool Vixen lay stretched on a sunbed bathing in the sunlight and murmuring appreciatively, while Jade Turtle brushed her long silver tail, gazing at her affectionately and entertaining her with a playlist of his personal choice.

In the shade, at one of the small tables Gambit was losing a game of chess to a very content Aquaman.

Here and there you could spot other elder heroes relaxing, doing exercise or passing their time with leisure activities of the wide variety offered at the House.

There were however two exceptions.

A lean yet muscular figure, despite the obvious years it accumulated, was making it’s sneaky way to the meeting spot. Although he was casually steadying himself on his staff, there was a spring in his step that would put to shame most of the residents and some of active heroes out there too. The tight black suit was complimenting his feline posture, which is quite an achievement when you’re 99 years old. A white mane of wild hair was adorned with two cat ears, that were twitching excitedly in sync with a long tail, as the man neared his destination.

Another person, a female judging by the pleasant curves under the red suit, was silently tiptoeing from the opposite direction, the only telltale of her presence was a swishing sound of a yoyo string. She limped slightly, her hip apparently giving her some trouble. Her hair was almost white too, but with deep blue strands weaved into the silver bun.

They reached their spot – a small but spacious green alcove, embellished with pink Cobaea flowers – at about the same time, giggling excitedly at the sight of the other one.

Chat Noir bent in a bow, although he finished it rather stiffly with a slight wince at the pain that shot from his lower back. He wasn’t as flexible as he used to be 10 years ago.

‘My Lady is as charming as always,’ he purred with a saucy wink.

Ladybug bopped him on the nose without even bothering to look. She had 85 years of practice and could find Chat’s nose with her eyes closed.

‘Easy, Chat,’ she giggled lightly, like she was 14 years old again. ‘I still have a husband and from what I recall you too are still married, hmmm?’

‘Ah, yes,’ Chat’s grin dissolved into a love-struck smile. ‘The love of my life, my charming wife of the last 80 years.’

Ladybug scratched her chin thoughtfully. ‘80 years you say? She surely preserves well,’ the heroine nodded appreciatively but then added with a sly smile, ‘or did you replace her and didn’t tell me?’

‘My Lady, you wound me!’ Her partner put a clawed hand on his chest as if she shot him with an arrow. ‘How could I ever replace my better half?!’

He noticed her lips quirked in amusement, and quickly added. ‘But I still can compliment a fine lady when I see her, right?’

‘I suppose…’ Ladybug’s smile widened.

‘In that case… Your hair is as white as fluffy clouds, your teeth as perfect as 70 years ago, your skin is flawless like silk, ekhm-ekhm, sorry-‘ he had to pause because of a fit of cough, as he forgot again to breathe through the string of compliments.

The heroine blushed lightly and shook her head at his antics. ‘Ah, perks of owning a miraculous for more than eight decades.’

‘Now that you mention it, I do think my exceptional form may come from other sources than the ridiculously healthy regime my lovely missus enforc- I mean _encouraged_ me to introduce all those years ago,’ Chat gnawed at his lower lip thoughtfully. Maybe he could win some pastry privileges back with that reasoning?

‘By the way, where is she?’

‘Who?’ Chat whipped his head, brutally detached from his daydream of a pile of croissants that years ago got banished from his diet because of such trivial reason as copious amounts of butter used in the baking process, which supposedly was causing his abs to expand outside of his belt.

‘Your wife, silly kitty!’ Ladybug’s laughter sounded like pearls.

‘I’ll have you know I’m a full grown cat now, Bugaboo,’ the 99-year-old kitty replied in mock hurt.

‘Old tomcat, you wanted to say,’ her sass was like wine and she had 85 years to hone it.

‘Rude!’ was all he could think of, still dribbling slightly at the earlier reminder of baked goods. ‘Anyway, she’s somewhere in our condo. Said she needed to be alone, and after 80 years a man knows when to give his woman some space,’ Chat casted his partner one of his most sly winks. ‘So I decided to sneak out and meet you, my lovely Lady.’

He unconsciously started to swish his tail under the bench, disturbing a little cloud of dust and leaves in the process.

‘How about your hubby?’

‘Oh, he’s taking his nap,’ Ladybug said dismissively. ‘And believe me, you don’t want to stand between my husband and his nap.’ Was there a hint of irritation in her voice?

‘I think we would get along just fine then,’ Chat grinned at her, aiming on lighting the mood. He wasn’t opposed to naps _at all_. Poor Mr. Bug definitely would not receive any nap-shame from this cat.

‘Probably,’ she casted him a strange look. ‘So. What do you want to do today?’

‘I thought I’d give that yoga thing a try,’ he said yawning discreetly. That nap actually sounded very tempting, with all that sunlight out there and the bees humming calmly in the background. ‘They say Nightcrawler is a pretty good instructor. Care to join me?’ _Please say no, please say no, so that I can actually have my catnap._

‘Meh, not really my thing.’

_Phew._

‘Then maybe you could-‘

‘No thanks,’ Ladybug interrupted his frantic search of an activity that would give him an opportunity to nap inconspicuously. ‘I think I’ll just practice with my yoyo.’

Chat’s lips stretched in his most impressive grin. ‘Is that so?’

‘Yup,’ his partner replied, a model case of innocence.

‘My Lady,’ he murmured, not having fallen for that trick in the last 50 years or so, ‘remember what happened last time you did that?’

‘I may be 99 years old but miraculously I don’t have dementia yet,’ Ladybug giggled.

‘Oh, so you _do_ remember we had to call for firefighters to get you down from that roof after – and I quote - a tornado took you but thankfully you were able to jump onto that lovely roof just in time?’ Amusement dripped of Chat’s voice like treacle.

‘Oh. Yeah. That,’ Ladybug was totally unabashed by his teasing, but responded in kind. ‘In my defense I _was_ hoping my knight in shining black armor would save me.’

‘At your service my Lady,’ Chat bowed his head, ‘but this cat is grounded and you know it. Jumping doesn’t agree with my bones anymore.’

‘Well, Superman did try to help me,’ she pointed out accusingly.

Chat casted a glance and the freshly repaired roof. ‘Yes and look, they already managed to patch the hole he made when he forgot to speed down,’ he snickered and Ladybug also gave a little laugh. That had been quite an afternoon.

‘Do you really want to do yoga?’ she asked when their giggles had died out.

‘Nah,’ the feline hero shook his head. ‘You know, I think your husband actually had the best idea.’

‘Catnap?’

‘Catnap,’ he confirmed with a satisfied smile. She knew him too well. ‘Care to join me?’

‘Kitty, if you see me taking a nap in the middle of the day, call a doctor,’ she nudged him in the ribs, then unhooked the yoyo from her hip and with a small wave she disappeared in the direction of the stables.

 

***

 

‘Cooeeee, Ladybug!’ Chat’s voice boomed over the greens of _[Classified]_ House for Retired Heroes.

‘What is it, Chat?’ Ladybug replied from her spot on the top of the leisure center roof. Her yoyo was wrapped around a chimney of the stables, good few hundred meters away, while the end of the string was tangled somewhere in the trees surrounding that building.

‘I thought we agreed you’re not supposed to climb with your yoyo,’ the feline hero pointed out reproachfully.

‘Ugh,’ the red-clad heroine tried to stomp her foot, but remembered just in time that it wasn’t a good idea while perched on a narrow space of a rooftop. ‘This isn’t what it looks like. I’m just… I’m just enjoying the view is all,’ she explained nonchalantly, as if she didn’t spend the last two hours stuck three stories above ground level.

‘Really? Enjoying the view?’ Chat quirked his brow sarcastically, thought the gesture was lost under his mask. ‘You know my shower excuses when I was a teen were more convincing than that,’ he replied with a smirk.

‘Oh, shuddup Chat and help me get down,’ his partner replied exasperatedly.

‘How?’

Ladybug looked around, confused. ‘Can’t you just use your baton or something?’

‘Anything for my Lady,’ he grunted. ‘Even if my back is going to hurt for a week.’

‘Stop whining,’ the silver-haired heroine actually had the nerve to scold her rescuer. ‘I’m sure your wife will be more than happy to soothe that pain.’

‘She will,’ Chat grinned at the thought of his missus rubbing some herbal ointment onto his back and purred at that image alone. ‘But that’s beside the point.’

‘Are you coming or what?’

‘I’m coming, I’m coming,’ he grumbled and extended his baton.

 

***

 

‘Why did you do that, Kitty?’ he heard Ladybug’s half amused half disappointed voice, the source located about two meters above his current position.

Unfortunately he couldn’t see her, because his head, as well as the upper half of his body, was currently stuck in a large hole, the rest of him – tail and all – dangling hopelessly over the roof surface. His baton rolled to the attic floor and out of his reach.

Ladybug was still perched on the top of the roof, not daring to move.

‘I think they didn’t do a good job on that super hole after all,’ Chat complained from the depths of the attic.

‘Maybe you could try to cataclysm yourself out?’ the heroine suggested.

‘Well it is worth a try,’ her partner agreed. ‘But just a little catastrophe this time. I don’t think the management would appreciate us destroying the leisure center. And you are still on the roof,’ he pointed out.

‘Are you ready?’ he asked after slight readjustment of his position. ‘Here it comes,’ he warned.

‘Cataclysm!’ Ladybug heard a muffled cry she knew so well.

A large crack appeared between the tiles and sped its way to the top of the roof.

 

***

 

‘Well, that went smooth,’ Ladybug commented sourly. She was trapped from waist down in the floor, after the cataclysmed roof gave in and she dropped to the attic.

Although there was one improvement – as now she was inside the leisure center, she gained an unlimited view to the upper half of Chat, because he was still stuck in his hole.

And his ring was beeping.

And even though there was no doubt that someone would finally notice their absence or possibly a pair of legs dangling from the roof, this could take a while. Chat didn’t have a while. He had exactly three pads left.

‘Well my Lady, I guess that after 85 years the time has come to show you my unbelievably handsome face,’ the black-clad hero said conversationally, anxiously peeking at his ring. ‘You know, I wonder why haven’t we actually done this earlier?’

‘Tikki said it was dangerous,’ Ladybug replied bluntly.

‘Yeah, 85 years ago?’ Chat’s thoughts were galloping now. _Distract her with something, maybe help will come in time._ _Ah, who are you kidding, have you ever had luck in such cases?_ his inner Plagg snickered at him.

‘So? She’s old. She knows what she’s doing, right?’ Ladybug was also nervously looking around. She felt gravity making a claim on her, as she started to slowly slip to the second floor.

‘It’s been almost nine decades,’ Chat noticed. ‘One would think after Hawk Moth…’ he trailed off when his ring gave the fourth warning.

‘After Hawk Moth there was LucySphere. And Gwydlien. And Hydra. Ugh, she was awful,’ Ladybug shivered in repulsion at the reminder of one of the meanest and ugliest villains in human history, at least according to Tikki. That had been when Vixen, Bee and Jade had come in handy. ‘Plus a handful of minor mind-controlling, magic-wielding, powerful-as-hell creeps.’

Somehow in all those years there never seemed to be a good moment for a reveal.

‘Yeah,’ Chat’s eyes glazed with memories of their epic battles. ‘Those were great times, my Lady.’

They both casted a glance at his ring, where the last pad was about to flicker.

‘Are you ready?’ the black-clad hero asked. ‘Here it comes!’

Green light filled the attic, temporarily hiding Chat under miraculous glow, but its fade was inevitable.

Ladybug blinked a few times before taking a good look at the figure immobilized in the hole above her, for the moment choosing to ignore the black, snickering kwami that settled on his holder’s head.

‘Eeeeek!’ she screeched in recognition.

‘Hi there, my Lady!’ silver-haired, green-eyed, bespectacled Adrien Agreste waved at her hopefully.

‘Unbelievable!’ she burst out. ‘How can you still look this handsome after being stuck in a freaking hole for so long! Life is so unfair,’ she sulked and crossed her arms over her chest huffing angrily. It proved to be not the best move considering the circumstances.

‘Wait? You know me?!’ Adrien exclaimed. ‘Hang on, you’re slipping!’ he warned, but it was too late.

By crossing her arms Ladybug shifted her center of gravity, which sealed her downfall. Red in the face, she involuntarily dropped down from the attic.

‘Hey, don’t leave me here!’

‘You know,’ the heroine seeped glaring up at him through the hole in the floor, ‘you should have just taken that nap, Adrien!’

With that she released her transformation. Adrien gasped at the familiar fierce blue stare piercing him with daggers, while Marinette continued.

‘And if you think I will rub anything onto your back tonight, better think again, honey!’

**Author's Note:**

> How did you like it? Don't forget to let me know.  
> This author really appreciates your kudos and comments, they inspire me in many, many ways!
> 
> See you tomorrow for the next prompt! In the meantime check out my other stories!
> 
> Come and bother me on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/perditaalottachocolate-blog) \- I tend to post sneak peeks of the stories I'm working on and share mostly miraculous content. Drop by when you're in tumblrhood!


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